Pet Grief

Or for me, I should entitle this page "Pet Guilt", but for now, I will stick with pet grief.
You will have to forgive me, I am not sharing information here on the side of someone who assists owners, and what they go through during this time, but acting on the part of a devastated owner who has been there and still, at times, although going on four years later, still experiences times of grief and guilt.....

There are many emotions that one goes through such as, denial, anger, fear, disorganized thoughts, despair, depression, anticipation, hope, excitement, happiness, guilt, and then at some point acceptance.
Denial- "Is this really happening?", and the false idea that in a couple of days they will find their way back home, while all the while, you are just waiting and not acting, just in case they don't.
Anger- Maybe at someone, because their actions caused the loss. Or that someone has your pet, and why will they not give them back.
Fear- For what might be happening to them. Are they cold? Are they finding food and water? Are they scared, and looking for me?
Disorganized thoughts-  Not being able to focus, or think clearly on what needs to be done in order to begin searching for them.
Despair- Thoughts of never seeing them again.
Depression- The mind wanting to shut down, and catapulting you into a dark place, and immobilizing you from working to bring them home.
Anticipation and Hope- When you get a sighting call, and go to see if it is your pet. There is a hope that you will finally be reunited with them.
Excitement and Happiness- When you are finally back together. But, if the sighting turns up nothing, then your emotional state plummets back to the beginning again, it can be an exhausting and punishing process.
Guilt- Which is the one I still have trouble with. I often run those "what if" questions through my mind.  "What if, I had not given him a bath?" "What if, I did not take his collar off?" "What if, I had known to make better posters?" "What if, I had upped my reward"? I don't know that I will ever let these questions go. I miss him incredibly to this day.

In the grief process you can have  feelings of  Ambiguous Grief, which is not having closure from the loss. Never knowing where they are, if they are sick, or injured, if the person who has them is treating them well. This is a huge one for me. I still wonder where my Lab is. Has he passed yet? Is someone treating him the way I would treat him? For me, I have a date set aside in my mind that I can let him go, it is not here yet, but the date is when I can safely say he is no longer with us, because of the cycle of life. He will be 12 years old October 1.
You may also unfortunately, experience socially unacceptable grief which is characterized by Disenfranchised Grief. This is when people are not supportive of you, and have no compassion, or it is rather lack of communication skills. They toss around phrases like, "just go down to the pound and pick out a new one", or "it's just a dog or a cat ". There have even been cases where my clients have had awful prank calls made, and unbelievable remarks made.
Then there is Grief Avoidance. This can cease a search for a pet prematurely. Owners are ready for the pain to end, and have tunnel vision as to what happened to their pet. Their conclusion may be that, because they live in a wooded area, that they just assume their pet has been killed, and they will stop searching. Although I totally understand the mind wanting to shut down, please don't give up prematurely, when there is still hope.